I guess we never end up where we thought we’d be by our certain age.  I have friends who thought they’d be married by the age they are now. I thought I’d be in NYC hailing cabs by now. Things change and when you least expect them too. Life is incredibly weird.

One of my favorite Sex and the City episodes talks about the Taxi phenomenon (and it rings totally true). It states that when a guy is ready for marriage, he puts his “taxi light” on and the next woman he dates will be the one he marries. It also states that if a guy does not have his taxi light on, no matter how perfect the girl he is dating may be, he will not marry her. None of the men I’ve dated have had taxi lights on, but I just met one who does and let me tell you…it’s pretty obvious when they do. They talk futures. And children. And Tiffany blue boxes. And you know what? It’s a heck of a lot nicer than being with someone who does not have a taxi light on.

I have no idea where my taxi light is yet. I don’t know if I want to get married anytime soon. But it’s nice to know that you would have the option. It’s nice to know that it’s a genuine desire on the other person’s part to have you in their life forever and not just a few months. It makes the process of dating more of a relief to know that you have the same end goals. That you aren’t just dating for sport (as most men are).  That, because he has marriage on his mind, he’s probably not out with a million other girls. He wants to know all about you. He wants to get invested.

So ladies, I urge you to look for those taxi lights. They are out there, of all ages. I never thought that I would find one. And certainly not when I wasn’t looking. But now I know how to spot them and from now on I wouldn’t dream of looking for anything less.

How can YOU tell if a guy has his taxi light on? Here are a few tell tell signs:

• He talks about his family early on and a desire to have one.
• He asks you questions about your family life.
• He wants to know all of your favorites-movies, books, colors, foods.
• He wants to do things with you as a team.
• He talks about his future with you in it.
• He isn’t playing games. He calls when he says he’s going to call, and he texts when he’s thinking about you (which is all the time).

If you find a guy with his taxi light on, you must at first proceed with caution. Just because they are ready to walk down the aisle doesn’t mean you have to. But, I will say that those taxi light guys will know how to treat you in a relationship because they are playing for keeps. Don’t make future plans that you can’t honor, but enjoy the relaxation of dating a man who knows what he wants and will not jerk you around.

But trust me when I say that if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a taxi light on…it’s like a car with no gas…it isn’t going anywhere until they flip that light on. And that, my friends, could take years.